Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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