I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My bed smells like the plague
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
