i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
