I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize