There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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