She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
