His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
