If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize