No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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