the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
