i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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