I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
