I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
