ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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