After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
