Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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