Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
