Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
