no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sorry about my life...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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