So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
