she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
