I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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