I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize