No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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