In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
