he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I forgot how hot balto sounded
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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