He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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