Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
