hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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