I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I need a beard to bite.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
