WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
