somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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