I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
