Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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