And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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