Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
