He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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