so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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