You're a womanizer and a bitch.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
