please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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