I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
