Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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