So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize