Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
