i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
