you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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