bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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