Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
