Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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