I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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