You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
