I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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