the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
