I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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