once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
