I will die if light touches me.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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