Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
