Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize