wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
