I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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